these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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