Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
