that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize