can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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