I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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