my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
