Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
