I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
dude. I can hear the air.
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