It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
