i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
