I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize