Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize