Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
