Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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