We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
