just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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