He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
