dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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