I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
