I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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