So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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