then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You are a booty call, not a friend.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
