is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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