my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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