covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
