How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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