TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
