I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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