Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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