So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize