I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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