Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
