I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
