Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My vagina is officially offended.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize