Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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