You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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