Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
