how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
