reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
