Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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