Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize