Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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