it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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