small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
