I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
