i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Two words: blizzard sex
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
