Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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