Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
