O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
