You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize