I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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