im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My vagina just recognized that song.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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