you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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