What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
