i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Floor bacon is actually really good
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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