why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I would ride that face into the sunset
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
