i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
ok first of all what the fuck
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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