So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
wanna go halves on a baby?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
