Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
