I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
