I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
