Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
