I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
