at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize