hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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