So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
