Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize