Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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