i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
