The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
