Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
