and you said cock pushups were impossible
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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