Jerry, you need to find god
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
