Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i drank out of a bidet.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
