so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
