I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
