I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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